Chronic illness comes with many symptoms as we all know; the nausea, fatigue and medications can become overwhelming as do the sideways looks, the sleepless nights and all the rest. One of the least often talked about symptoms is the emotional wear and tear that comes with the daily ups and downs of our diseases.

A “normal” healthy person cannot fathom the sheer amount of emotional and physical energy that it sometimes takes for us to push past the pain, fatigue and depression to do the simplest of things. It’s easy for them to say “if you’d just get up and start your day you’ll feel better” or “Is it really that hard to take 15 minutes to cook a decent meal” and never really understand that “no, I won’t feel better” and “yes, it really is that hard” no matter how or how often we explain it to them.

I recently came across a Japanese proverb that reads:  “Fall seven times, stand up eight ‘. This resonated deep inside of me as I contemplated how many times I had “stood back up” in my life. How many times have I had to gather my inner strength and just keep going? The answer was – more than I could really count – and finding that answer within me is incredibly empowering.

These last several months have been a time of transformation for me. Cliché as it may be I am once again playing the part of the Phoenix and rising from the ashes. The chaos of the last year is slowly slipping away and while I have been terrified of some of the changes – especially those that require showing my vulnerabilities and lowering my emotional walls – I realize that I am tougher than ever before. With each rebirth, each phase and cycle, I grow as does a tree; stronger and with deeper roots.

It can be easy to forget to stop and count our blessings but I hope that those of you who are struggling with the mental wear and tear that comes with chronic illness will take some time today to stop and reflect on your own blessings and to think about how many times you have fallen – and then be PROUD of how many times you’ve stood back up.