Once again “the holiday season” is over and a fresh new year spreads out before us; a chorus of resolutions sounding in the background, like the “carols” of January, as we continue to go about our daily lives.

When it comes to those purposefully decided resolutions there seem to be three types of people (well, four if you count those who do not make them at all – a group I’ve joined a few times).

First are the folks who make a long list of what they wish to change/accomplish in the New Year. This list usually starts being devised around Thanksgiving but is never written down. Additionally it has several huge changes in the first few slots, such as quit smoking, lose weight, hike 5 times a week and climb Mount Kilimanjaro – twice. These wishful thinkers have the best of intentions, however they rarely, if ever, meet their unrealistic goals; mostly because they never get started.

Secondly we have the group who come up with three or four perfectly reasonable goals, usually mid-holiday-season during a smoke, over cocktails or while sharing a box of bonbons. They then will begin telling everyone they know about how after the 1^st they are going to quit smoking, stop drinking and give up chocolate. They will post their goals on their social sites; begin countdown timers to that zero hour when they will have their last puff, sip and bite. They will be so gung-ho that others will become inspired and set their own resolutions or make a vow to quit with them, for moral support.

These intrepid revolutionists make lists, devise battle plans and buy large quantities of whatever it is they need to “get through” their impending life changes. Nicotine patches, exercise equipment and diet aids fly off the shelves in a post-holiday orgy of life-improving shopping sprees. Once they have their goods in hand they diligently start on their pre-determined course of action, proudly sharing each accomplishment with all who will listen.

This will go on for several weeks to a few months before little things begin to slip under the pressure of too much change. Stress at work will be a great reason to have a glass of wine, or six, and “oh, hey, can I bum a smoke? I’ve quit really, but one would be lovely just now”. The sweet grandmotherly woman down the hall will bring by a chocolate cake, because she had extra and if you’re having the cake you might as well have some Haagen-Dazs with it. Before long the little cheats become a full-on backslide and your resolutions are kaput (I’ve been in this group a few times also).

Lastly we have those wise owls that recognize the need for change but also understand the need for balance. These guys get that we can’t stop our lives in order to make change; we have to make changes that work with our lives instead. They pick one main goal – sometimes two – like better dietary habits and/or exercising more; from there they break it down into smaller goals – like have oatmeal for breakfast and walk to work three times a week.

These folks usually announce their intentions to one or two close friends who will be willing to help by not bringing over cheesecake to go with the midnight margaritas the night before your first marathon.  This group (which I try hard to stay in) sets a reasonable course of action and achieves  goals systematically, allowing for some backsliding. They understands the concept of “moderation in all things, including moderation” (thank you Mr. Twain). In other words, they know that the occasional extra coffee or slice of pie is perfectly fine and no after-guilt is needed. It’s this group that has the highest success rate when it comes to making life changes, regardless of what time of year they decide to make.

I think over time one is a member of each group at some point as we ramble through the epochs of our life. Our goals and priorities change as we age and learn more about ourselves; what was important at 22 is likely not as important at 42 and so on and it’s vital to keep this in mind when one is making resolutions – especially if those goals impact your family, remember a 15 year old is not going to be as excited as you are about converting to a whole foods diet or adding in 5 family walks a week on top of homework and basketball practice.

If you have already set your New Year’s resolutions or are planning to remember to keep a few things in mind. First off most people can only handle  five things at once, maximum. This includes running the house, work, hobbies, etc so make sure that you don’t overload yourself – your boss isn’t going to cut you slack because you added in personal goals and projects.

Secondly, don’t expect others to join in. If you have a perfectly healthy partner, healthy kids and so forth, don’t expect them to embrace your non-fat, wheat-free, kelp-rich diet plan or whatever other big changes you might make. These are your goals and having support is important, but you’ll get a lot more support from family and friends if you don’t force the issue. If you need more than you’re getting you can always join a community or on-line group that has the same goals you do. There are literally hundreds of sites now that are devoted to helping you succeed and many of them are free to join so you can easily find other wheat-free kelp munchers.

Lastly, don’t forget the importance of the reward system. When you’re working hard to make a better life for yourself you deserve a few treats along the way too so make rewards part of your master plan. If you only buy two fancy coffees a week as planned instead of your previous 6, use the saved money for a new pair of shoes or whatever else makes you happy.

Don’t let New Year’s resolutions freak you out, instead embrace positive change and go steadily onward toward goal-reaching success!

That being said time to go work on my resolution, which is being better about my personal correspondence this year; Sending out notes to far reaching family members and friends and remembering to get out those thank you cards!

Good luck everyone!